We recently
ran a survey of our members asking them for the top 3 things they wish they’d
known before embarking on their IVF journeys.
These are
women who have an intimate knowledge and personal experience of the IVF
process.
The responses
were heartfelt and profound.
They were so
profound, in fact, that I’d like to share the most common with you:
IVF is Not a
Magic Pill
“I was under
the impression that if you don’t get pregnant naturally you do with IVF. After
doing some research Preparing for embryo transfer and
talking to friends I realised that’s not true. In fact, far from it. Only
26-28% of IVF cycles are successful.”
How Much it
Costs
IVF Cost
“IVF isn’t
covered by insurance so we had to pay ourselves. Our clinic charges $12,000 per
cycle but this does not include drugs or any “add-ons”. All-in it cost us
$14,376!
We could only
afford one cycle so we needed to make it work.
In this
context, investing in preparing for our cycle it starts with the
egg was a no-brainer. We ditched the Starbucks’ coffees (which you
should do anyway when TTC) and other things we didn’t need and put this money
towards our preparations.
Fortunately,
it worked! We gave birth to a beautiful little girl.”
Your
Biological Clock is Ticking
“I’d spent my
20s and early 30s trying not to get pregnant. I thought having a baby was easy.
You have sex without protection for a few months then 9 months later your
little bundle arrives.
Except it
doesn’t, or at least it didn’t for us. We started trying seriously when I was
35. Things weren’t happening and we soon learnt that fertility declines rapidly
from the age of 30.
I wish I’d
know how important it is to take action ASAP to give yourself a chance of
having a family.”
Preparing for
IVF is Another Thing to do but Needn’t be Too Much Work
“When it was
suggested to me that I needed to prepare for Short
protocol IVF to give myself the best chance I thought “I don’t have the
time” and “it’s going to be too much work”.
I had learnt
that there are lots of things I could do to boost my chances and while these
gave me hope I also felt overwhelmed.
But I was
desperate to have a child.
Developing a
plan was key for us. Once we’d decided what steps we were going to take putting
them in a plan helped a lot. We knew How to prepare for IVF what we
should be doing (and what we shouldn’t be doing!) each day to increase our
chances.
Sure, it took
some effort at the beginning but then it soon became a habit we didn’t think
about.”
Doctors Don’t
Have All the Answers
“Doctors are
held up by society as being people of authority. They know what they are
talking about and they have all the answers.
Well I am a
doctor and I can tell you this isn’t true! Preparing for IVF Our
training encourages us to specialise in a specific area but this can mean our
focus becomes too narrow.
So, doctors
don’t have all the answers. Don’t let them dictate what’s possible based on
their own repertoire of (limited) treatment options they make available.”
Look Closely
at the “Success Rates”
“I fell for
the success rates advertised by the first clinic we used. It’s only when
reading your blog post that I realised I had been duped.
Firstly, the
clinic defined “success” as a chemical pregnancy not a birth. They also gave
the rates for women under 30 who are usually the best candidates.
On top of this
they didn’t make clear that they recommended multiple embryo transfers which
distorted the figures and led to lots of twin and triplet pregnancies.
I couldn’t
believe clinics would do this or how they get away with it”
Note: the blog
post is available here.
Find People
You Can Trust
“We heard so
many voices on our IVF preparation tips
journey we weren’t sure who to listen to. There’s so much well-meaning advice
it can be overwhelming.
It was
important to us to find people who had been there and done it. People who had
bought the IVF t-shirt!
Our clinic was
great but they had never been in our position so couldn’t truly understand.”
Emotional
Rollercoaster
“Fertility
issues are difficult enough to cope with as it is. But, they are magnified by
the IVF drugs.
First, you’re
desperate to see the follicles growing at each scan.
Then through
the mist of hormones and sedation you listen to your doctor tell you how many
eggs have actually been retrieved.
Next, it’s
biting your nails overnight waiting for the call to hear how many have
fertilised.
The waiting
continues for four more days to see how many embryos have turned into
blastocysts whilst being given yet more hormones to thicken your womb.
Then it’s
transfer day and the dreaded 2 week wait when you’re on the lookout for any
sign you might be pregnant or that things may have gone wrong.
I wish I’d
known how stressful it is before my first cycle. My nerves were shredded by the
end and I’m not an emotional person.
For my second
cycle I learned coping techniques that helped make things bearable.”
Importance of
Optimising the “3 Keys”
“You emphasise
the importance of taking steps to optimise your eggs, sperm and womb. This is
so true. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility as all our lab results
came back normal.
This was
frustrating. At least a diagnosis would help direct our clinic’s efforts. With
the unexplained diagnosis it felt like they just followed a “painting by
numbers approach”.
My husband and
I followed the IVF Success Plan, all our test results improved and I got
pregnant in our first cycle!”
I Thought IVF
Would be Quick
“After months
of trying and a referral to an IVF doctor I thought I’d be pregnant in a month
or two. No such luck.
Back then I
hadn’t realised that success rates were low so I thought it would work first
time. I’d have a few injections, some scans and an embryo transfer then I’d be
pregnant!
It sounds so
naïve now!
But my clinic
did nothing to make my expectations more realistic so how was I to know it
could take many months and many cycles?”
Taking Time to
Prepare Saves Time in the Long Run
“After being
advised to try IVF I wanted to get started immediately. I figured the sooner I
started a cycle the sooner I’d have my little one.
It was only
after speaking to a friend who’d been through 3 failed cycles that I changed my
mind. For her fourth attempt she and her partner took time to prepare
themselves properly. And it worked! She got pregnant and had a healthy little
boy.
She wished she
hadn’t rushed into her cycles and instead prepared properly.
When I got
talking to other women in a support group I found the same theme. So many said
they wished they’d started preparing months/years ago.
Thankfully, I
learnt from these experiences and we took time to get ourselves ready. The
result? We got pregnant at the first go and I am now 37 weeks!”
“Natural
Remedies” are Proven to Increase Your Chances
“I’ve taught
childbirth classes for 23 years and try to keep up with the latest research.
But I never realised how effective natural remedies are in improving IVF
success. I learned SO much about what to do and what not to do.
And, most
important, they’re all backed by independent scientific research proving they
work.
When you’re
trying to conceive, it’s easy to get lost in a lot of anecdotal stories. Not
everything you read on the internet is true so having the research is vital.”
Empower
Yourself
“Going through
IVF made me feel pretty defeated and completely out of control. It wasn’t until
I started to take a more proactive and informed approach to our infertility
that I felt empowered, more in control of my destiny.
Developing an
action plan to succeed with IVF puts you in a “can-do” mindset for giving
yourself the best possible chance of getting pregnant.
This sense of
power gave me hope that I can do my part in this crazy rollercoaster of trying
to have a baby.”
There is Hope.
Believe in Yourself
Hope and
Believe
“It’s all too
easy to lose hope and stop believing you can do it. I already felt like a
failure having to go down the IVF route. Friends seemed to be getting pregnant
without problems but after months of trying… nothing.
But we did it.
We kept believing, we kept imagining ourselves holding our own baby and this
motivated us to take action. We will forever be grateful that our dreams came
true.”
Wrap-up
I’m sure some
of these will comments will resonate with you. They certainly made us reflect
on our IVF journey.
IVF is a
miracle of modern medicine but it can be a long and winding road. Never stop
believing and never give up hope.
Whichever path
you choose we wish you well.
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